Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Honeymooning....It's Not Just for Newlyweds Anymore

Greetings from Litchfield Beach.....quiet, calm, and peaceful....a much welcomed retreat after a crazy, emotional, roller coaster week! I am still basking in the unexplainable peace that comes after a tumultuous storm (see last post)....still praising and thanking God for the way things turned out...we all know it could have easily been a different scenario.

A few years back, for my 40th birthday, my incredible hubby gave me the coolest gift....part ownership in a condo here at Litchfield beach...just a few families...we rotate weeks...and our family usually comes 4-5 weeks out of the year. It used to be that we all came every time....but as the kids started college, and as some of the newness has worn off...everybody doesn't make it every time. This week, it is just me and Mark for the first part of the week...so we are "honeymooning"....that's right.... All goo-goo eyed, lovey-dovey, touchy-feely, so glad to be your partner in life kind of time!

Now, let me say, Mark and I have always been the type couple that never really "lost the spark"....not that everyday is Valentine's day....don't get me wrong...romance ebbs and flows with us too, which is completely normal for every couple....But honestly, we have never felt totally out of sync. Not because we are great communicators or perfect spouses. Not because we deserve it. Not because we were without bumps in the road that could have potentially thrown us in a ditch or totalled the car! We have had bumps.

What has allowed us the ability to stay connected through it all? Well...I would have to say...it would be priorities. Yep....keeping the important things in order. God first, spouse second, kids third, and everything else falling somewhere lower on the list. Sounds simple...but any of us who have been married for more than 15 minutes can attest to the fact that it is not. We are all selfish, me centered, flesh driven humans....and without God first thing, everyday....we will most likely take the "what do I want, what is best for me" option every time....and that option can destroy great relationships quickly.

Mark and I married young...not quite 20...still teenagers....it is only by the grace of God and because (for the most part) we have kept our individual relationships with Him first, that we have made it almost 27 years as man and wife. Looking back, the times that were the toughest, were the times where God was not consulted or in the very least fell below the number one spot on our priorities list.

Last week, was an opportunity for me to make sure things were A-OK between me and God....to come clean, get honest, ask for forgiveness, to welcome His grace kind of week! This week, I am working on the number two spot...my hubby....to spend some time just being. Being silly, being close, being laid back, just being together....and it has been wonderful. As this week draws to an end, we will invest in the number three spot...we will share some beach time with our kiddos...and will savor each and every minute shared of their young adult lives.

But....they are not coming down until tomorrow evening...so in the mean time...Mark and I have some "Re-Honeymooning" to do....so I think I will sign off and go straighten my hair for dinner....Mark likes it when I wear it straight and down :).

Hip, Hip, Hooray for Honeymooning!
~Scarlett

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

With My Hairdresser As My Witness...I Will NEVER Skip my Mammogram Again....

This past Monday morning started out great.... a beautiful, crisp sunny day. Every 5th Monday morning, I get my hair colored....It is a half-day job....I have alot of hair. :) So this Monday, I was sitting there in the hairdresser's chair.....chatting frivolously with Suzanne.....my MOST AWESOME hairdresser. She has been "Doing my hair"...for nearly twenty years. I was one of her first clients....she was fresh out of Beauty School....and I let her do my first "Spiral Perm"...(Looking back, that was probably a bold risk to take, but it turned out beautifully!)....I looked like I had a hundred hula hoops on my head...wish I had a picture of that day to share....we would all have a great belly laugh!!

Somewhere between putting the foils in....and taking the foils out....I decided to step out into the parking lot and get my phone...when I arrived for the appointment, I realized that it was low on battery, so I had left it charging in the car. I nearly startled the poor UPS man to death when I stepped out the door......a head full of what looks like tinfoil...and wearing a lovely black Redken cape....quite a unexpected site I suppose! When I got the phone....I had several missed calls....the most recent one from my husband.....then two prior from our local hospital and two prior from my Gynecologist's office. NOT as good sign. I knew I had just had my mammogram the week before (see prior posts) and had not gotten the "Your mammogram is fine" post card yet. The nurse in me put the clues together....and I just knew there was a problem.

I called Mark first....he was frantic.....the Hospital and the Dr's. office had both called him at home and on his cell. He was FREAKIN' OUT....and they would not tell him anything, except that it was very important that I call them ASAP. I hung up with Mark, checked my messages, and the hospital had called to pre-register me for a "Left breast diagnostic". The nurse from my doctor's office left me a message to call her back at my earliest convenience. My gut reaction...NOT Good.....not good at all. Noticing how all the color had drained from my face, Suzanne knew something was wrong. She knows me well. She was wonderful....trying to encourage me....speeding up the hair process so I could get out of there.

By this time the Dr's. office was closed for lunch. Great. S0...for about two hours, every worse case scenario ran through my brain. When the nurse called back, she said that I had "a thicker, denser area on my left breast, and they wanted to do some additional testing". But she also commented that they did not "see" anything, so not to get worked up at this point. She said that almost half of the mammos they got back, that they had to send the patient back for additional testing for clarification. I am thankful that I have an attentive doctor and that she doesn't just "wait and see". So I did feel better. I let my Sunday School and Ladies Bible study groups know, and of course, my closest girlfriends :) People were immediately praying.....some before I even hung up the phone. I am soooo blessed to have ladies like that in my life!

I felt the prayers...slept well....and did not freak out at all....UNTIL.....I walked into the breast imaging room for the tests....and saw the x-ray of my boob hanging up on the viewing screen.....with "IT" in it...."it" looked like a pencil eraser.....I could see it easily! It was so odd to see it there....and not feel it....not know it was there in my own body. Since I was a little nervous....I started taking photos with my cell phone....thought I should document the process....anything to keep my mind and hands occupied until the tests started! (See added photo.)

Luckily, "it" only showed up on one view of the first mammogram....the same radiology tech that did my initial mammogram was with me again. Her name is Susan, and she is an angel. She talked me through everything, and most importantly to me.....she knew I wanted to know what the results would show. She promised me I would know one way or the other before I left. She had a hard time finding "it" on any other view....even with the compression (EXTRA, extra smooshing of the breast)......but she finally found what she thought was a faint shadow....so she moved me down the hall to "Ultra sound". I had to lay there a few minutes, waiting for the test to begin. S0.....I began praying: ~Lord, You are Holy and awesome....I am unworthy to even ask. I ask for Your will.....and I ask that Your will is that this "it" is nothing serious.....I know I am selfish, and do not deserve any special favors.....but I'm asking for Your help here.....knowing that if You lead me to it....You will lead me thru it.....I love you....~

Susan came in....Propped me up on a wedge, and squirted me with the gel....began the ultrasound....probed, prodded, rerouted the wand.....she kept looking...and looking....and could not find anything! ~Thank you Lord.....This sounds like good news.~ She left and went and got the radiologist. He said that it was only fibrotic or lymphatic tissue, and that I could go home, and that I did not need to come back until next year.

I was estatic...thankful....relieved...blessed...and taken over with emotion...all at the same time!!

I could not help but think about my friend who has been battling cancer for quite some time now. She is so brave. I only got a faint taste of what she much be feeling......and I am here to tell you ....it is NOT a good feeling. Sue, you are my hero. We are still praying and trusting God and asking for healing....we love you!!!

In my last post, I talked about the uneasiness (without obvious reasons) that I was mysteriously experiencing.........Maybe it was God preparing me for Monday's phone call......I don't really put much stock in premonitions or fortunes or luck......but I must admit, I was quite relieved when my Fortune Cookie on Monday night said "You are about to experience a miracle".....NO LIE....can't make that kind of thing up!! It really said that!! I kept the little white paper as proof!!! I personally think that God knows what a wimp and doubter I am at times.....always asking for Him to speak to me....preferably in neon signs :) .....so he rigged the fortune cookie in my favor. God is SOOO cool like that!

I have felt so loved and prayed for over the last few days.....God has given me so many awesome people in my life.....I am overwhelmed just thinking about it as I write this.......You know who you are....and I love you all dearly....and am so thankful to have you all in my life!!

I will no longer take for granted being healthy.....and I will never forget how much I am loved.....by my family.....by my friends.....and by my God.

Lastly, I will NEVER skip my mammogram again.....I promised that to Suzanne as I was sitting there trying not to panic in her chair.....and we all know.....a woman is always honest with her hairdresser.....because there are just somethings....only you, and God and your hairdresser will ever really know. :)

Still rejoicing Y'all!
~Scarlett

Saturday, October 18, 2008

Muffin Pan Therapy

Have you ever had one of those weeks where you felt like life was off kilter and did not know why? I have kinda had one of those weeks. Incredibly busy....lots to do....seemingly not enough hours in the day to do it......but honestly, that is not all that unusual for me. But this week.....well.....I still cannot totally put my finger on it! A bit of sadness....a bit of worry....a bit of insecurity....all mixed together with little if any justification for it.

Now those of you who know me, know that I rarely have a down day.....and I cannot even say that I am down.....just mysteriously edgy......unexplicatively uncertain. Not about life, or love, or family or faith.....solidly grounded in all those areas for the moment :) Maybe it's hormones :) Isn't that the catch all for all things without concrete proof?? That or it's just a virus :)

It kind of came to a culmination tonight. After dinner I was preparing mini pumpkin cupcakes for our huge First Fruits (Church Anniversary) Celebration....Mark and all the kids at home on a Saturday night....which I just love (and is a rarity at their ages!).....and me...baking in the kitchen (which I also love)....all the makings of a "Perfect Saturday Night" at home. I had just finished icing the mini muffins.....and putting them in a container for tomorrow....(about a dozen fewer than came out of the oven thanks to the "muffin snitches" in my family). And as I dipped my hands into the dishpan to wash the mini muffin tins.....It happened ..... I Started tearing up at the kitchen sink.....thankfully everyone else was involved in TV or Laptop Land....so they were not paying any attention to my sniffing as I scrubbed.

I scrubbed, and sniffed....sniffed and scrubbed. I got SO frustrated with myself...."These blasted mini muffin pans are so hard to clean!" And then the tears really started to build.....Why? Because I realized these were HER pans....my Moms.....then it hit me. She has been dead seven years. The anniversary of her death was last month......but this year it did not weigh so heavily on my mind during the actual month of September....but obviously it caught up with me in October!

As I continued to scrub the seemlessly impossible to clean pans.....I thought about the hundreds of mini fruit cake cookies we made in those pans. Mom started making fruit cake cookies because....well, I liked them. :) We have this whole "Secretive Springs Family Fruitcake Recipe" that has been passed down in our family....but I never really liked it. But Momma found this fruitcake cookie recipe...tried it....my brother and I loved them! So she made them every Christmas. Unfortunately....my job was often to "scrub the pans"....and I hated it! (But I loved the cookies and my Mom, so scrub them, I did.)

As I sat there, scouring the pans...fighting back the tears, I thought about the hours of complaining I probably did when she asked me to scrub the exact same pans. (No such thing as Teflon coated, non-stick pans in her day....but hey, they have lasted longer than my fancier ones!) Oh, how I wish I just had one minute for every hour I griped about having to clean them for her....somehow magically stored up in time....so I could use one of them to talk to her right now. I still miss her SO much....guess I always will....that is until the day we are reunited again! Hallelujah for that!

So tonight, I prepared mini muffins to celebrate a special anniversary (First Fruits).....and I tearfully scrubbed Mommas mini muffin pans to commemorate a different anniversary (Mom's home-going). Both important....both special....both huge parts of who I am.

Still not sure it explains the mysterious, off-kilter kind of funk I've been in......but I sure felt better after a good cry. Maybe it is hormones :)

What ever it is....I have faith it will get better....and if Momma was here...I know what she would say. She would say, "This too, shall pass..".... I heard her say it many, many times.....and she was always right....it always did pass and life was good again.

Thankful today for tearful, muffin pan therapy,
~Scarlett

Saturday, October 11, 2008

Say It Ain't So, Sweet Clementine!

Hey Y'all! I hope you have all been blessed with cool Fall evenings, plenty of pumpkins to carve, and vibrant mums to plant! Even though the changing of seasons is subtle here, we do have a decent window of weeks here where we actually can see God adjusting His color pallet! We have continued to have a wetter than usual Fall this year, but it has still been quite beautiful.

This afternoon was another rainy, Fall afternoon...so I snuggled up with my puppies and my computer and decided to catch up with e-mails, journaling, and facebook....and as evidenced by this post...blogging!

While socially stalking all my dear friends on facebook, one of my director friends from the theatre, who is also one of my facebook friends, sent me a quiz to try out.....called "Your American Accent". Being from South Carolina, having a name like Scarlett, and coming from a most adorable border-line redneck family....well...it seemed like a no brainer to me what the results would be.....but I took it anyway. AND Y'ALL......It said that I had A NORTHERN ACCENT.......Say it ain't so Clementine!!! I could not believe it....so....being the doubting Thomas of my bunch....I retook the quiz.....and yep....it came back with the same results!

Now let me clarify...there is absolutely nothing wrong with having a Northern Accent....I think they are just lovely. I love all kinds of accents....as a matter of fact....I could listen to Hugh Jackman's Aussie accent from now until Jesus calls me home, and never get tired of it. It's just that anyone who knows me.....knows I am as Southern sounding as they come. (Not to be confused with the deep down in the boondocks accent that most American actors use...and THINK they are doing a Southern Accent. If you saw Nicole Kidman and Renee Zellweger in "Cold Mountain", you know what I am saying!) And while I am not as richly Southern as say.....my Charleston relatives....I am still pretty daggone southern sounding.

The first time this was ever blatantly evident to me, was just after we signed with a small Christian Record Label. The artist relations and corporate offices were on the west coast. All I had to get out of my mouth, was "Hey"....and they would immediately know who I was! I even tried to NOT sound southern...and say "Hello"...and they would still recognize the accent! Needless to say....we were immediately hooked up with an excellent vocal/voice coach....who was quite relieved to discover that although our speaking voices were BLATANTLY Southern, our singing vocals were not.

So, obviously, the quiz was inaccurate. Just a template of ten word/vowel related questions, used to quickly evaluate a person who uses a million words a day. (If you think I am over estimating that number....just ask my hubby :) )

But I ask you to think about this.....How often do we jump to conclusions....or make up our minds about folks....based on a small subset of circumstances of who we think they are? You've probably done it....I know, ashamedly, I have done it. I am not talking about accents here....I am talking about characteristics that make up a complex personality as a whole. Some folks get really nervous when they meet you for the first time, and easily make awkward first impressions. Some folks are shy, and come across as stuck up. Occasionally, some folks get excited and loud when they are passionate (that would be me), and some folks might happen to be having a really bad day....and you walk up on it. It happens.

I have unfairly evaluated folks, and yes I have had folks unfairly do the same to me.

When we do that, we are no different than that silly little FaceBook Quiz.

God calls us to Love, not evaluate (a kind way of saying "judge") our brothers and sisters. His commandments clearly call us to love...first and foremost....Him....The Lord our God....and then almost contiguously he commands us to love our neighbors as ourselves. No where in His word have I found a "Quiz" to use.....and I am so glad of that....Because as evidenced by the "Accent Quiz" I took.....I would fail miserably.

So my challenge to you this week, is this. Take time to get to know someone who you are pretty sure you do not care to get to know. Ask yourself why you do not want to spend time with them. Ask God to show you something incredibly amazing about that person. They were created in His image you know....that alone should be enough.

God cares passionately about each of us...No matter what our accent. We too, should take time to care for one another.

Later, yooz guys..... :)

~Scarlett, from the South





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Monday, October 6, 2008

Ah-Ha! Moments

I just love to learn new, neat things! I love learning in general, actually....My interests are vast and my thirst for knowledge immense. I like details....I like to know the histories of things....of people...I am intrigued by learning new people and figuring out their personalities....even little things, like what colors they like.....what they like to do in their spare time....where they go to church...Maybe I am just nosey!!! But hopefully not in a busy-body way!! Each detail.....according to "Scarlettville theory"....paints a new layer on previously gathered information and completes the picture a little more clearly. So I carry a tremendous array of data at any given time! My concern is that I will leave this Earth with a brain slap-dab full (yes, my non- southern readers, that IS an actual, usable term in the South),....a brain that is tightly packed full ....of tedious, and kingdom useless information!

Occasionally I learn something so INCREDIBLE that it can be categorized as what is commonly referred to as an "Ah-Ha!" Moment......You know, a discernible moment where the light bulb goes off and you "get it". A moment where information is shared clearly....and processed correctly...and it makes perfect sense for the first time.

As I recollect, my first Ah-Ha! Moment dates back to grammar school. Science class....we were talking about trees. Mrs. Lawson, my first grade teacher, explained to us that you could count the rings on a visible cross section of a tree and tell it's age. She had actual samples of trunks of trees in class for us to see. I thought that was the COOLEST thing. (Yeah, I know....pretty pathetic....but come on....I was six! But still somewhat of a science geek....hey...it served me well in nursing school!)

My most notable...and valuable Ah-Ha! Moment...by far....was the Sunday night it in 1974 when I realized that Jesus wanted a PERSONAL relationship with me! I had asked Jesus into my heart when I was six....and I understood it, and I meant it...BUT I did not totally understand how to apply it until that fateful Sunday night. It was just an ordinary Sunday night at our small Baptist Church....but it became an extraordinary night in my life!

There have been other moment's....most scoring on the Ah-Ha! Rating scale somewhere between the "Tree Rings" and my "Jesus" Ah-Ha! events. I just love it when they happen! It excites me to know I can still learn and that there is so much more out there to learn!

This week I had a really cool Ah-Ha! Moment. I am doing a bible study, by Kay Arthur, entitled "Lord, Teach Me To Pray". It has been awesome from the start....but this past week was...well, for me, ...Ah-Ha! worthy. As we were going through the daily homework, there was a section about "Intercessory Prayer".....explaining why it is biblical and an important part of a healthy prayer life.

I don't know about you....but for me....there have been times in my life where I was trying to pray....trying to cry out to the Lord...but did not know what to say...or how to pray.....and I guess I always felt like those prayers were somewhat less effective....and usually were prayers that I needed God to hear the most! (I hope that makes sense!) Well, Glory be,....this week I learned that Jesus AND the Holy Spirit are interceding for ME at all times....especially during those times of despair where I am so confused or hurt or distraught and I am incapable of communicating what is in my heart! IS THAT NOT THE COOLEST THING?? Forty-six years....in church the whole time....Surely, I have been offered that information in a sermon before (but I obviously did not "hear" it if it was)...and not until this week, was I able to process it and understand the concept! It was up there on my Ah-Ha! Moments Scale.

Oh, I SO love to learn....and I am thankful for Ah-Ha! Moments! It excites me to know that there are still so many things left to learn! God is so awesome. I am so small. I am humbled that He allows me to get even a glimpse of Him and how He works. I want to know more! I want to know His favorite color!! I want to know what He likes to do in His spare time :)!! And yes....I would just LOVE to know where HE LIKES to go to church!! I know he visits Cornerstone every week :)

Do you have an Ah-Ha! Moment to share? If so, just leave me a comment....I just love hearing from you all!

Hoping many more Ah-Ha! Moments for us all!
~Scarlett







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Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Pink! The New Fall Color

Happy October Y'all! I just love cool evenings and pumpkins and watching God's magical display of Autumn's hues at their finest! I am so thankful that He gives us such a wide display of colors in His creation! I can't even imagine how beautiful the colors in heaven are gonna be.....Oh, but I am so hoping there will be at least 500 magnificent shades of PINK!

I admit it ....I am a "Pink Freak"...... hot pink, baby pink, fuchsia....even pepto bismal pink!!.....I love them all. And believe it or not.....thanks to a very familiar pink ribbon that we now automatically relate to Breast Cancer Awareness....pink...at least in my book....is now "officially" a new fall color! October is National Breast Cancer Awareness and Prevention Month. A time to remind us all to "Get our boobies smooshed". I just love to see the pink ribbons on every ones lapels! And a really cool thing, kind of new to our area, is getting an awesome pink hair extension for $10.....all proceeds going to breast cancer prevention! (Sorry guys, this is kind of a girly post....and I promise to talk about fishin' or football or nascar in a future blog....I realize that I will owe the testosterone team one after this post!)

Now before I start coming across as "Miss Altogether with Her Female To-Do List"....I will begin with a confession....I have not had my mammogram yet this year....I made an appointment...on time....but had to cancel due to an out of town trip.....and I did not reschedule it. SHAME ON ME. And while I am eloquently spilling the proverbial pot of "been a bad girl" beans....let me just further confess....I have not had my yearly GYN visit yet this year....OR last year!!!......BUT....I have an appointment this Friday....FUN, FUN, FUN.....not! But it is now two years over due! I am a nurse, I know better, and yes I am an idiot.

Why have I let these two VERY IMPORTANT things go unattended to???? Well, I could tell you that I have been too busy, or I forgot, or it was cancelled by the Doctor's office, or some other common excuse....but I would be lying. I KNEW I needed to go....I really intended on going...but it really boiled down to one embarrassing, selfish fact.......I did not want to weigh. There! I said it...or blogged it...out loud! I hate to weigh....long history with my weight.

Here's the deal....when my original OBGYN retired, I transferred my records to another OBGYN in town.....a high school friend of mine.....and I just adore her! She is an incredible doctor and amazing person! I have been seeing her as a patient for 4 years now. Years one and two....I lost a great amount of weight....so I did not mind going in and stepping up on the horrid, metal, self-esteem sucking monster commonly referred to as a set of scales. I knew I would weigh less, and be at my ideal weight.

Not so for year three...or four. On the messy, gigantic, fluctuating roller coaster that is my weight history....this past particular year and a half have proved to be one where the "Weight Car" has crept cleverly UP the hill on the roller coaster.....Not the gigantic hill....I hit that one full speed about 5 years ago, and hit the top at 299 pounds! And through the old fashioned....eat less/move more regiment...I lost over 140 pounds in a period of 2 years! And while I am thankful that I have not climbed back up that BIG hill ....not there yet....not really close....I can't stop the ride!!! I am SO frustrated!! I want to get off!!

So back to my excuse making mentality...somewhere in my mind, I wanted to believe that the car was most certainly about to hit the down curve....SO I would simply wait until I was coasting in a more favorable zone.....THEN I would make my appointment. Bad theory.

Breast cancer, ovarian, or uterine cancer can hit anybody......including idiotic, afraid to weigh, Jesus loving, praise singing, blogging nurses.

I am ashamed.....I am embarrassed....and I plan to do better. I convinced myself today, that I would be totally honest with my OBGYN friend....and ask forgiveness....from her....for not being a compliant patient.... from myself for not taking care of my self like I should, and from God for taking His blessing of health for granted.

So there is my confession....and here is my challenge to each of you. If you have not had your "Boobies Smooshed" or your "Womb Worked Over"......PLEASE make those appointments today.....and keep the appointments :)

I am so fortunate and thankful to my Creator, that to the best of my knowledge, I am healthy. But my knowledge is not enough...... that is why He gave greater knowledge and amazing technology to folks who can help us know we are healthy...and help fix us if we are not!

I look forward to comments to this post because I could really use some encouragement with this one!! I can't help but think that I am not alone in my struggles!

I get my GYN check on Friday. I get my mammogram next week. And, oh yeah..... I got my pink hair extension today....it is sassy and awesome....just like me.....no matter what I weigh.

Think Pink Y'all!

~Scarlett

Our 25th Wedding Anniversay in NYC

Tuesday Morning Mammo Photo

Tuesday Morning Mammo Photo
Are you sure that is my boobie pic hanging up on that wall???

How Bountiful Are Your Gifts, Oh Lord!

Re-Honeymooners

Re-Honeymooners
On the beach at Litchfield