Happy Birthday 2013!

Whoo Hoo! It's the birth of a new year! Welcome 2013.....I have so many well wishes and dreams for you already.....

So, if January 1, 2013 is the official day of birth.....that technically makes 2012 (and the years prior) a gestational period. A time to grow and ripen and mature. Mature....I am not particularly fond of that word. I believe there is a reason "manure" and "mature" are close in spelling, they both stink. However, on the other hand, they both can be used as a catalyst for growth.

And while we are unable to recall our human gestational period as a fetus, we are able (to some extent) to remember and recall our childhood, young adult and adult years, thus making us partially responsible in the outcome. There are numerous cliches that we hear almost daily to reflect that premise: Live and Learn, Learn from Your Mistakes, Life Lessons, etc...

So what exactly is our responsibility for the success of a new year?  Is it enough to simply show up with our mental index file of what has or has not worked in the past? What about fate? What about the unknown and things we have zero personal ability to control? Fiscal cliffs, physical ailments, alienation of affection, misunderstandings, the actions of others? There is certainly a long list of unknowns.

Maybe we should stick to the things we do know. And honestly, for me, that is kind of a short list. But the OCD in me loves making lists. So here is my list of things that I already know about 2013:

1. God already knows what each day of 2013 holds for me. He walks before me. He prepares a path.
2. I can follow the path He prepares or try to blaze my own selfish trail, and trail blazing on my own has not served me well in the past :)
3. My relationship with God has to be my first priority. Some call it faith. I call it my foundation. Everything else I hold valuable in my life rests upon Him.
4. With God as my foundation, it is fair for me to say that my husband is the rebar of my life. He is the steel beams, nuts and bolts, safety structure of my life here on Earth. I totally trust him. He loves me unconditionally. We are in this boat of life together, and neither of us will allow the other to jump ship or sink!
5. I love my children and the mates that God has given them to a fault. I do not apologize for this. They are great young adults. They are still learning, they are still leaning on me and Mark, as they grow and learn, and that is perfectly alright :) They are here for us, just like we are here for them.
6. Having an extended group of friends/family that believes like you do, follows the same moral compass you use, and are willing to be vulnerable with you is a priceless gift and is essential in healthy spiritual, emotional, and relational growth. Our Journey Group (small group) from our church is this for us.
7. God  blesses hard work, a humble heart, and a giving nature. (If you do not believe or understand this, I welcome you to go to Belize with me as we serve there.)
8. A day without Worship is a wasted day. Even on the hardest, darkest days, I have to stay connected with our Creator God, I must maintain the relationship that I can only have by staying connected to Him in prayer, bible study and praise.
9. Our dogs will always love us, desire to be with us, and attempt to protect us. 100% of the tail waggin' time!
10. I will need grace.....lots of it. I am opinionated, sometimes loud, passionate, dramatic and sensitive. Not a better recipe for saying or doing something stupid. So thankful that God's grace is new every morning, because I typically need it seven days a week!

There you have it. My plan for conquering another year. A year that this time next year, will be considered gestational. May the lessons learned be gentle......

Happy Birthday, to You!
Happy Birthday, to You!
Happy Birthday Two thousand-thirteen!
Happy Birthday to You!

Here's to 365 days of love and learning.......

Frankly~
Miss Scarlett

A Fantastick September

Happy September 2012!

In January of 2010, I had the incredible opportunity to direct "The Fantasticks" at FLT. The longest running off Broadway musical, ever. It was a memorable, rewarding experience in so many ways.

 The most memorable song from this show, Try To Remember, now....and likely forevermore, pops up in my mind every September. (Music by Harvey Schmidt and Lyrics by Tom Jones, 1960. Sung on the original cast recording by Jerry Orbach.)

Although the lyrics are obviously from a different time.....the lessons are still  universal. Reminding us to slow down, reminisce, and learn from the past....... and follow.



TRY TO REMEMBER
Try to remember the kind of September
When life was slow and oh, so mellow.
Try to remember the kind of September
When grass was green and grain was yellow.
Try to remember the kind of September
When you were a tender and callow fellow.
Try to remember, and if you remember,
Then follow.

Follow, follow, follow, follow, follow,
Follow, follow, follow, follow.

Try to remember when life was so tender
That no one wept except the willow.
Try to remember when life was so tender
That dreams were kept beside your pillow.
Try to remember when life was so tender
That love was an ember about to billow.
Try to remember, and if you remember,
Then follow.

Follow, follow, follow, follow, follow,
Follow, follow, follow, follow.

Deep in December, it's nice to remember,
Although you know the snow will follow.
Deep in December, it's nice to remember,
Without a hurt the heart is hollow.
Deep in December, it's nice to remember,
The fire of September that made us mellow.
Deep in December, our hearts should remember
And follow.

The more Septembers that pass, the more meaningful this song becomes to me. Experiences that happen from day to day, year to year, September to September.....shape and shadow the backdrop of TODAY.

We all have our struggles. We all have our triumphs.

We all feel the sting of rain on our backs, and the warmth of the Sun on our faces.

I think sometimes, the more scars we carry, the greater our story. The deeper the wounds, the more triumphant when there is evidence of healing.

We learn. We live. But what is the next step? I believe there is potential great value in sharing the stories of our life journey. But to do that we have to be vulnerable. So, that knocks out about 95% of folks. It takes courage and compassion to be transparent. We are so afraid of being judged or rejected or misunderstood, and with good reason. After all, where do you think the majority of our wounds come from? If you guessed "other people", you would be correct. (Thus why 95% of folks will not be open and honest. And really....can you blame them?)

But here is the thing....are we not put here to help one another? There has to be a reason God places us here together, and logic suggests that any force is stronger when multiplied.

I think there is a lesson to be learned here.

We can let the years encapsulate us like layers of paint slathered on an aging piece of furniture,  year after year, to cover the scars and to make everything look picture perfect.

OR, we can allow the years to gently age us, wearing away the gashes and imperfections of life,  until all that is left is a beautifully worn,  sanded, smooth, reflective surface. One that hopefully, when gazed upon, will allow folks to see themselves and be comforted, and maybe even encouraged.

Are you a painter or a sander?  

I think September is a wonderful month to think about that......And if you are in NYC, take time to see "The Fantasticks" on Broadway.....it very well may help you decide which you are.

Until next time, follow, follow, follow....

~Frankly Miss Scarlett

Everything, Turn, Turn, Turn....

"....There is a Season, Turn, Turn, Turn"..... Who would have thought King Solomon and Judy Collins could collaborate to bring us such a beautiful musical offering. An unlikely pair for sure. One a free loving hippie, and the other, one of the wisest men to ever live. Yet they both were used to convey via their words and music, the inevitableness of "change".

And what a pleasant weather change we have had here is SC the last few weeks. Humid, sticky long days evolving into cool, dry, shorter days. Definitely a welcomed, longed for, and beneficial change! If time had permitted, I could have lived outside all this week. Simply beautiful. I look forward to Autumn every year!

But wait....I think the song and the words of Solomon speak of continual change, but not always easy or happy change. Dang it.

We all are familiar with such seasons of change. Beth Moore calls them "sifting seasons"; times and events in our lives where God is sifting us, separating the chaff from the wheat....with the intent of knowing what is left after the sifting is good, usable, and honoring to His Kingdom work.

I hate being sifted. It stinks. It hurts. And sometimes it seems unending. During such times I find myself saying...(out loud and often)...."Okay, Lord, could you please hurry with this sifting thing. Let me learn what I need to learn, and let's move on!" I am sure I amuse and annoy Him. What an impatient child I am.

We have had such a season for the last, well...almost 5 years, as I have watched my sweet hubby struggle through Mono and two back surgeries, and ongoing back issues. Until 5 years ago, he was healthy as horse. So this has been a big change for him as well as our family. We have been super- sifted. We must have had lots of chaff.....evidently the really heavy duty, durable kind. I think we should be mostly wheat by now....hopefully!

One thing I have concluded through it all, is that God uses every season. Even the dark, cold ones. Out of all the struggle, we have been reminded over and over again, how much God loves us. How He continues to take care of us. Minuscule details that only He could arrange to keep us encouraged when it feels like the sifter is scraping our backsides extra hard. We have learned to let go of some things and hold tightly to others. We have, without a doubt, felt the blessings of friends and family as they have prayed for us and walked through the muck with us, sometimes pulling us through the sludge when we were emotionally worn out and felt paralyzed to take another step.

So, in many ways, this sifting season, although quite painful, has taught us many valuable lessons. The most important being that no matter what the climate or circumstance, we are not alone, we are loved and He has a purpose for it......under heaven. ~Ecclesiastes 3:1

Keep Turnin'!

~Scarlett

Sisters, Sweet Southern Pearls

I always wanted a sister. Don't get me wrong, I love my brothers.....but male siblings are just that....male. I have always longed for, and been at my happiest while among, those innately similar to me... willing to walk, shop, primp, giggle and grow together.

Now, let me start by apologizing to anyone, male or female, who may disagree with my humble estrogen charged post. No male bashing....I promise. 'Cause the Good Lord knows, I do love my man...and therefore I am also a great fan of the testosterone gender!

I have always been drawn to Women's Ministry....long before I ever heard it called that. My sweet Grandmomma had her "Circle", and my Momma, being a single parent, definitely had her own little trusted network of female friends that she shared and confided in over coffee weekly. If you will, let me pose this thought for you to ponder....Women's ministry does not always find it's roots in an organized church "group". And while it most certainly can and should work that way within the confines of our worship institutions, and it is a WONDERFUL blessing if it does, (and goodness knows, I adore the ladies of my church, and we have a very sweet deal goin' on!)....It is my charge to all my female friends, that as we network and invest in the lives of other females that we find frequently in our paths, that those female posies are also a VERY good thing and an uniquely rich resource!

Now, let me clarify....I am not talking about a gossip filled hen party. I am talking about folks you can go to, confide in, and TRUST. I will be very honest in admitting that I am beyond blessed to have countless incredible female friends in my life, BUT there are only a few that really know me inside out, and still love me, despite what they have found! Those are my true "Southern Pearls" and the closest thing to sisters I will ever have on this earth! However, even in ancillary friendships, those that I have not delicately and cautiously decided to string onto my necklace yet....they too, have enormous worth and kingdom significance in my life. One thing I know for sure, God can use the pearl or the ugly shell it comes in to teach me important life lessons. I have been cut deeply, thinking I was diggin' for and clutchin' that pearl...just to find out she was not really a pearl at all! And that is all I am gonna say about ugly shells...(But we all sure as shootin' have had those in our lives....so in keepin' it real... I thought it worth mentioning.)

This past weekend I had the wonderful opportunity to be a part of a ladies conference that was planned and implemented by the women's ministry of our church, Cornerstone Church http://www.exit137.org it was such a blessing. We invited Dawn Smith Jordan as our keynote speaker. Now she...is a pearl. No ugly shell showing here....A former Miss SC, second runner up in Miss America, author, recording artist, song writer, musical guest for Billy Graham, and Jesus loving Momma....and that is just a few of her accolades. But unfortunately she is most well known because of a tragic and unfortunate event that took her earthly sister's life. (Check out her ministry http://dawnsmithjordan.com ...better yet, book her for your event!)

But there is so much more to her ministry that blooms outside the confines of the unimaginable, tragic, senseless loss of her sister's life. Dawn has strategically woven many very beautiful and vibrant, spiritually enriching threads of God's grace and forgiveness among the dark strands! She stitches it all together with songs that help tell her story, and that encourages the listener to look deep within....to dare to take an honest look at this life we have been given....(even when we realize and have the courage to admit that it may not be the life we wanted or planned!)...We all have the good and the not so good threads woven in our personal tapestry. Dawn, through her emotionally transparent testimony, challenged us to take an honest inventory of what it is God is doing in our lives....or more importantly...what we are doing for God with our lives.

One truth resonated solidly and loudly. God loves us so. And if we have a relationship with Him and we love Him....then we must FORGIVE like Him. Yep...Ouch, right? We cannot let the hurt of the past cripple our steps into the future He has planned for us! So, I am letting go of a few of those stinkin' stubborn hurts. You know the ones, we all have them....we say we give them to the Lord....but then almost like second nature, we reclaim them daily...cramming them into the painful cracks of our lives, where they wait patiently for us to emotionally snatch them out, to be the guests at our own little personal "pity party".

I don't know about you, but I am not a huge fan of that kind of party... it is not the kind I want to throw....So, bye, bye secret hurt, hasta la vista unresolved pain., adios bitterness....I am gonna consciously pick out every last shard of ugly shell that sits deeply embedded into the palm of my hand...realizing that they are only there because I have held onto my hurt so tightly, for so long, and refused to let them go! God did not put them there, and He does not keep them there...I do.

So...how, you may ask, do I plan to REALLY leave it all in God's hand this time? Here is my plan. I am putting on my "pearls"...that's right.... I am choosing to have my sisters hold me responsible to leave the past behind. I do not want to repeatedly stumble over emotional obstacles day after day...I want to dance into my future....gracefully. (OK....maybe not gracefully....as most of my sisters, especially those in the theatre know... my dancing isn't exactly graceful.) But I can still dance GraceFULL-ly...as in...full of His grace.

So if you see somebody waltzing, tapping or salsa dancing your direction....don't be surprised if it is me! But, if you happen to be unsure of who it is....just take a closer look ...I will be the one wearing the most beautiful strand of pearls a girl could every hope for :)

Diamonds are NOT a girl's best friend, pearls are!
~ Scarlett

Miss Scarlett and Her Beans for Breakfast Belizean Adventure

Hey Y'all!

One of my fondest childhood memories is of my Grandmother (I called her MaMa) hand mixing home made biscuits. I could not have been more than 4 or 5 years old, and I remember her lifting me onto a tall stool so I could watch her as she magically mixed and kneaded the flour, Crisco, and milk combination. She would then roll out the dough onto a well floured counter top and cut out perfectly round biscuits with the open end of a Pet Milk can. Three times a day. Everyday. Breakfast, Dinner (lunch for non southerners), and Supper (dinner for non southerners), there would be hot biscuits for all. As she arranged the dough onto the biscuit pan, she would tell me the story of how she grew up on the farm and that her job was to make the biscuits each meal, in order to feed the family and the farm hands.

And while many of you reading this blog, especially my sweet southern friends, can totally relate to the whole biscuit scenario/story, what would you think about having beans with each meal? Yep, I said beans. Beans for breakfast. It happens. It happened to me last week! I had the amazing opportunity to spend a week in Belize as part of a medical mission trip, and beans for breakfast was only one of many things that God used to teach me during the week.

The trip was a joint missions project between our church, Cornerstone Baptist http://www.exit137.org/ and Coastal Christian Ministries, http://www.kidzkonnect4jesus.org/ and http://www.belizechristian.com/ . Our team was stationed in Dangriga, Belize, also known as the Stann Creek District. Such beautiful terrain! I woke up to a gorgeous coconut tree lined beach each morning. As we traveled just a few miles inland, the view quickly changed, and can best be described as the perfect mix of the Great Smokey Mountains and the citrus farms of sunny Florida! An incredible landscape indeed, one that here in the states would scream "Tropical Resorts" and mega money....but nothing could be further from the truth for the people of this area. And while there are many fine homes, there are many more substandard in construction and form. As you venture into the valley, outside of the city, it is not unusual to find homes with dirt floors, no electricity or running water.....that is the norm, not the exception.

It was honestly, very difficult for me to wrap my mind around the degree of poverty. Most of the folks we had the opportunity to treat, walked to the clinic. There are very few cars, a modest number of bicycles, and an occasional horse to count on as transportation. There is a bus system, and that seemed to be the most common and usable transit means.....if you have money. However, most of the folks have very little, if any. I would venture to say that most of the clients we saw did not even have enough food to eat, much less money in their pockets! Poor living conditions (many clients bathed, washed, and drank out of the same stream of water), poverty, and malnutrition was the most common senario.

Their diets consisted mainly of fruits (oranges, pineapple, mangoes, papaya, coconut, and melons depending on what is in season), rice and beans. Beans are the main protein source...thus their dependence on beans for each meal. There are chickens (they run freely EVERYWHERE), and they are used mainly for eggs, providing a secondary protein source. Because the city of Dangriga is coastal, there is an opportunity for occasional fish in the diet. The folks of the valley must hunt and fish the creeks for additional food sources.

We treated a wide variety of things on this inaugural medical mission trip. In the valley we mainly saw stomach worms, vitamin deficiencies, head lice, gastric reflux, urinary tract infections, skin disorders, and upper respiratory issues. In the city we saw more hypertension, diabetes mellitus, dirty blood (HIV/aids), wounds, backaches, and skin issues....some worms, but less lice. We saw approximately 700 patients in four clinical days! That is a bunch of pumps of the ole' blood pressure cuff bulb y'all! I thought my hand was surely gonna fall off.....but it didn't. It would hurt like heck in the evenings, but once we were on site the next morning....the pain went away! God is good like that! :)

Despite all the less than ideal situations and conditions, the thing that still stands out most to me is the attitude of the people. Without fail....every person we saw was pleasant.....with sweet smiles so warm and inviting that the beauty of the mountains and tropical beaches paled in comparison. Such sweet, thankful people. And while I know the medical care we were able to offer was a tremendous blessing to them, they have no idea how blessed we were that God would allow us to be his hands and feet during our week in Dangriga.

It was truly an incredible experience. God showed up in obvious, amazing ways every single day! I cannot wait to go back! Not for the breathtaking tropical view....but for the beautiful, loving people.

Until then, I will honor them and their customs by occasionally having beans for breakfast...they should go nicely with a batch of my MaMa's biscuits.

Frankly (and humbly),
Miss Scarlett

Miss Scarlett's Rocky Raft Ride Down The Mississippi

Well Fiddle Dee Dee, Y'all!

I begin this post with a short, to the point confession: I am a "Blog-Neglector". Yesssss......I know, I promised to do better, but dang, y'all....Until I learn to duplicate time or clone myself, I can only promise to post as often as I can. Not a particularly exciting or intriguing promise, but one that I can likely keep :)

Where do I start? Let's play catch up:

The highlight of my summer was writing and directing our Kizblast Arts Camp again. Nearly 100 little cutie pies acting, singing, moving (can't say dancin', I'm Baptist)....as well as doing art pieces for the show and (my new favorite)....shooting commercials that we ran during the hour long Kidzblast event! Gosh, I love seeing bright, creative little minds at work! LOVE IT!

Went straight from the camp show to BIG RIVER auditions at FLT. I really was hoping for a chorus role....but Robin Thompson, our Director (and my musical director when I directed THE FANTASTICKS in January)...cast me as Tom Sawyer's ditsy Aunt Sally....and I must confess, she has been a fun character to develop. A quite minor role, really.....the real stars being our Huck and Jim....oh, my word those fellas can SANG! The whole cast is amazing and we are playing to sold out crowds...which is always exciting! A special thanks to Ashley Costas for making my stick straight hair, super curly every night....and just making sure I keep all my "acting ducks in a row"....she keeps me on task, she is the equivalent to taking an ADD drug....directing my focus, reminding me to put on my mic and loads of other stuff that a true Southern Belle must refrain from revealing.....Civil War era costuming is complicated...let's just leave it at that.

I am also back at the university, taking Directing II, under the masterful teaching skills of Professor Glen Gourley....(who also steals every scene he is in, in BIG RIVER). Our major objective being to select, audition, cast, rehearse and direct a one act which will be performed for judication the first weekend in December. I have selected a lovely one act, GRACELAND. Set in the 70's, and yes, it is about two die hard Elvis fans who have parked their hunka hunka burnin' love carcasses outside the prestigious front gates of his Graceland estate, in hopes of meeting him. Well written...really fun show.....let's pray I do not screw it up.

I have also been cast in SPOON RIVER, the FMU fall show. Another Civil War era show....I get to be the singing narrator-like character...Oh, and I am a ghost.....FUN!!! I do thank God for allowing me to be in two consecutive shows costumed with hoop skirts.... as I am a stress eater....and just a TAD stressed about now.

As BIG RIVER wraps this weekend, it is also my 30th high school reunion...so I get to go, straight from curtain call to the country club....with my sweaty stage self, big ole' crispy curly hair, stage make up....complete with fake lashes... and reunite with a bunch of folks who have dieted, selected the right outfit, and got their hair and nails just right in preparation for the event. Oh, well....I am who I am....just like I was in high school....just a louder, more confident version :)

Monday brings yet another audition for our big Christmas Event at The Stone. (Yes, that means I do not get even ONE day as a break from a show.) I am looking forward to the first truly dramatic event we have done since I became the Creative worship coordinator there. I cannot pinpoint one emotion to describe my feelings about this task.....it is more like one part excitement, one part mortification! Trusting God to send me the talent I need to do justice to the script....AND to live up to the tremendous reputation of our past Christmas events! It will be different....but I greatly anticipate seeing what God will do....trusting that He will do an amazing thing, as always!

SO...there.....five shows....in four months. I know,.... have brought it all on my self..... and I am freaking out, a bit....but I am loving every minute of it! And hoping this knowledge buys me a little sympathy from my precious blog followers who lovingly (and frequently) ask me why I have not posted lately...

Come the middle of December, when the above list is all said and done, I am going to Disney World! Woo Hoo! Let's just hope I get my stress under control.....not sure hoop skirts are the best resort wear, and likely would not fit into the seat for Space Mountain.....

Land sakes! I hear the Mississippi callin' my name again! Time to morph into Ditsy Aunt Sally Phelps....complete with crunchy, curly hair....

Frankly (and frantically),
Miss Scarlett

Cardboard Confessions

Mark and I had so much fun watching our kids open gifts when they were little. We would laugh at how they, quite often, loved playing with the box that their toy came in, as much as the toy itself! Especially if it was a big box that they could crawl into or hide in! Countless hours of the "Where's Joshua and Melody? Do you see them Daddy? I can't find them!" game were played at the Knight house. Of course we knew where the kids were all along....but some how in the playful, make-believe world of our kids, they thought they were really hidden away, and out of our sight. And yes, we would have so much fun reacting to the "surprise" when we found them....lots of giggles, laughs and love! And how they hated it, when the cardboard boxes finally made their way to the trash. They loved those boxes, and to them, they were NOT trash!

Well, today at Church, about 30 folks got to play around with card board boxes, and all for the glory of God! They took part in a Cardboard Testimony event. The testimonies came from young, old, broken, freed, sinful, blessed, and most importantly, "willing to be vulnerable" members of our church family. To say it was truly moving and amazing would be an understatement. Who knew God could do so much with our trash?

Each person (some were couples) had something written on the first side of their cardboard that they either struggled with or were encompassed by in their own personal life.....and on the flip side was how God has blessed them and healed them, changed them, and worked through these challenges. Some testimonies were mild and uplifting (such as moving to a new town and finding a church home) and others were raw, heart wrenching (such as medical issues/addictions). Both kinds of testimonies were used greatly and touched so many lives! (I hope you will all go to http://www.exit137.org/ and look up the video feed from today's service.)

It never ceases to amaze me how God shines the brightest through the dark places in our lives, where we are "cracked" or "broken". In our weakness He is truly strong. He can take the ugliest garbage we have and use it. If we let Him. There is the clincher...IF WE LET HIM.

Most often, we are so worried about what others think about the flaws in us, that we fail to let them see the beauty of who God really is amid the ugliness .....think about that for a minute.

We would much rather hide, like a little child, beneath the boxes...under the trash....believing that no one can see us, than to take that piece of cardboard, rip it into pieces, and write our "junk" on it for all the world to see. Most definitely that is the safe, non offensive, less risky way to handle our "garbage", right?

Here's the real deal...we all have "garbage", we all know that everyone else has "garbage"...its just a lot prettier to pretend.

I am so thankful today for people who trust God enough to be real. He uses them greatly. That was made so evident today. Thanks to each of you who shared. You are my new heroes :)

So, what if you were asked to write your cardboard testimony? Could you do it? Would you do it? What would it say? Who could be blessed by your willingness to be used by Him?

Here is mine:
Side 1: Worship (Noun) Somewhere you were expected to go every Sunday at 11am
Side 2: Worship (Verb) Something I offer to God 24/7 because of His vast love for me

Yep, mine is all about "playing church"....I did it....Did not really know I did it...did not mean to do it...but, none the less, I did it. God hates that. He does not want us one hour out of every week. He wants us 100% of every minute of every day...warts and all. It took me 40 years to recognize that. Maybe through my cardboard confession...somebody else will "get it" a little earlier on :)

Feel free to share your cardboard confession with us here....I promise that we will all rejoice, giggle with holy laughter, and mostly love you, when we discover who you are under that box! Oh yes, and most importantly, we will rejoice in who God is as he blesses us through your willingness to share! Get outta that box!


Having said all of that, I also understand that sometimes we have issues that are just so personal that they still resides in total darkness in our mind, and we cannot bring ourselves to the point to share them.....yet :) And that is OK too. No pressure here. Maybe God simply brought you here to see how God is working in the lives of folks ....just like you...and that you will be encouraged that God CAN and WILL bring you that freedom one day. Maybe not on an Internet forum for the world to see....BUT....maybe over a cup of coffee with someone who is hurting and searching that needs to hear what God has done for you in a more intimate setting. He will let you know when it is time :)

Happy Easter! He Lives! He loves you!
~Scarlett