I Think I'll Try Defying Gravity (And no, this is not about me getting a new bra!)

Well, I did it. Today I woke up, got dressed, and walked onto the campus of FMU as a student......surreal to say the least! It was 30 years ago that I did, for all practical purposes, the exact same thing.

I remember the morning in 1980 like it was yesterday. I was wearing a soft, red plaid dress, with a little bow at the neck, and the cutest pair of espadrilles! (No wonder the KA's invited me to be a Little Sister! SO preppy!) I hurried to school, noticing that I was running really low on gas....but did not have time to stop!! Fleetwood Mac's album "Rumors" (yes, it was an eight track) blaring as loud as the speakers in my Pontiac Sunbird would allow! Excited, a bit nervous...but ready. Ready to start a new chapter: College! My first class was Intro to Theatre, in the old auditorium...the new fine arts building was not complete yet. Bob Simpson was my professor...he was a new staff member at FMU, and I remember thinking how we looked very close in age!

Other than one little mishap, which included me falling into a dumpster (a church daycare dumpster at that! Pewwwww!)on my way to class....(That will need to be a post all on its on, another time perhaps!)....the day went smoothly.

Time warp to 2010. Here I am this morning....wearing Uggs, a poet hat, skinny jeans, a long sweater and a scarf. (Not really KA material anymore :) ).....Rushing to my Mercedes Benz SUV, the soundtrack from WICKED blasting "Defying Gravity" as I make my way to the college. Running low on gas. (Somethings never change!) Excited, a bit nervous...but ready. Ready to start a new chapter: College! My first class was a Theatre 303 class, Stage Management. In the now old, but new 30 years ago, Fine Arts building. Professor Granath is my instructor...and ironically, I am pretty sure we are very close in age...he is not so new to the staff of FMU.

There are only 4 of us in this particular upper level theatre class....there were 5, but the Professor made quick mince meat with one particular student's non-theatrical brain, and suggested he exit stage R and go immediately to his advisers office in hope of getting a class more suitable. The other three students...are girls....ALL younger than my youngest child :/ A huge, but only momentary wave of panic washed over me....WHAT AM I DOING??? Have I lost my mind?

After all, (This is where I started trying to reason to myself)..."I have a perfectly wonderful degree in Nursing! I am a RN! I have 5 years of successful college credit under my belt!!" I commenced using my psyhciatric nursing knowledge on my self...."Breath deep, another time, now slowly let that breath out....repeat....relax....everyting is fine"....

And yes, I am a good nurse. Long story short...here is the deal...after nursing my Mom for seven dark years through End Stage Renal Disease...I can hardly stand to walk into the hospital anymore! Nursing was/is a field that I was successful and gifted in.....BUT....it is not, and never has been my PASSION. However, being the good "rule follower" and "go with the flow" girl....I took the sensible road 30 years ago...it paid well....it served others...it is a respectable and honored profession...nursing. I did not realize thirty years ago that passion trumps sensibility in the game of life.

There has never been an extended period in my youth or adult life that I have not been performing is some manner. Church musicals and dramas...singing at hundreds of weddings....Mark and I signed with a Christian Record Label...we wrote songs, recorded albums, performed and toured for years....community theatre...script writing....children's dramas...directing...etc....Always feeding that passion for performance. It has NEVER escaped me. The desire to learn more about it...to better my skills and knowledge of it....never goes away.

I realize most folks in my age group, my socioeconomic group, my peer group, would never have the desire to go back to school for something they know they will likely never profit monetarily from....but dang it, I DO have that desire!!!.....Oddly enough,the lyrics from that Wicked CD that was blaring this morning popped into my brain at the height of my doubt today....."Something has changed with in me, something is not the same. I'm through with playing by the rules of someone else's game. Too late for second guessing...to late to go back to sleep. It's time to trust MY instincts....close my eyes and leap! I think I'll try defying Gravity...I think I'll fly...defying gravity....and you can't bring me down!"

Today, I decided to take that leap :)

"So if you try to find me, look to the western sky....as someone told me lately, everyone deserves the chance to fly! And if I'm flying solo, at least I'm flying free! To those who ground me, take a message back from me....I think I'll try defying gravity, I'm flying high...defying gravity...and you can't pull me down!"

Today, my second chance to fly!

~Happy Soarin' Y'all!
Scarlett

What is Your Passion?

Kidblast was.....well....A BLAST! 100+ adorable kids....acting, singing, moving collectively...having fun and worshipping at the same time! And while I must admit....the camp week was physically and emotionally draining.....it was well worth it! I am so thankful to be part of a church body that has a passion for kingdom growth and is not afraid of being innovative with ministry.....and whose leadership is not only full of faith but is also brave...(brave enough to let the likes of me write the script and direct the show!!! )

Last night after the performance, my family treated me to a celebratory dinner......I was on the edge of my seat as I listened to their feedback about the show...and so glad that they enjoyed it and understood it's value and marveled in it's unusual way of reaching our ministry goal.....

Shortly after the appetizer, our conversation drifted toward career choices. Having a table full of college aged kids...the topic quickly went to what their "major" was or would be. My son's beautiful, smart girlfriend, is at the point in her schooling where she is trying to decide what to declare as her major....... I remember the anguish I felt as a college freshman....thinking that I needed to know immediately....such pressure! What if I made the wrong choice?! Being a child of a one parent household, I felt strongly (my mother felt VERY strongly) that I choose a field that I could support myself should I wind up in a unfortunate situation that required that I be the sole breadwinner......it happened to her....she was widowed at 28 with 2 small kids....she, luckily was a RN, and thus was able provide comfortably for the three of us.

Although I was unsure of what to declare as my major, there was one thing that I knew for certain......I DID NOT, under any circumstance, want to be a nurse.....My Mom worked long hours and shift work, so she was not at home as much as I would have liked....plus I hated the idea of shots, wounds, and any bodily fluid....especially emesis...( AKA Vomit). But I did excel in the sciences....so I chose Biology as my major. And through the urging of an arts loving guidance counselor who recognized a natural affinity in me for drama (take that anyway you like :) ).....I declared Theatre as my minor.

Long story short....I attended college, studied Biology and Theatre....fell in love with a wonderful man...realized that Broadway was a long way from Cashua Drive......and wanted to get married and would have bills to pay. So, what did I do? I enrolled in nursing school and became a RN. God, having the sense of humor He has, allowed my first patient to be a head injury patient with Increased Inner Cranial Pressure....and yep, she vomited....all day...non stop....I quickly got over the whole emesis thing.

So as we sat in Outback last night, talking about career paths, I felt very unworthy of offering any advise....after all, my educational journey was a haphazard one! But what I could add and attest to, was that whatever you do, you need to have a passion for....a love for.....let it be something, if possible, that you would do, even if you did not get paid! (A 360 degree turn from my freshman philosophy)!

And while I do not regret one year, one day, or one minute of my 7 years of education,....as a matter of fact, I thank God for it!!..... I do regret not really praying about my career path decisions......I thought I was praying about it...., but I did not truly seek God's leadership in it, and was too young, impatient, and hard headed to wait on His answer!

But God being the Master Cleaner-Upper of our poor decisions, took every step of every path with me and then.....in a way only He can manipulate....used it all for His purpose and His Glory, and to enrich my ability to minister to those in need. You see, I am a good nurse, I like being a nurse, but it is not my passion.....However, God knew I would need those nursing skills to take care of my Mother when she was ill for many years, he also knew that I could use them to help Mark when his software package needed a Clinical Records Add on....who better than me to go into the Mental Health Hospitals and Facilities and act as a liaison between the Clinicians and our Programming staff? I fit right in.....with the counselors.....OK....and sometimes with the inpatients :)

On the other hand, my theatre education has played an enormous part of my ministry life. Having signed with a Christian record label and touring on and off for several years.....I have run the whole creative spectrum....performance, song writing, skit writing, directing, musical theatre, etc....all things I learned about on my theatrical educational path.....

Which brings us full circle to Kidzblast....to my position as Creative Ministries Director at CBC....using my "unordinary" spiritual gifts for the glory and edification of our "extraordinary" Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. That is MY PASSION....it is what I like to do, what I want to do, and what I plan to do.....regardless of any amount of monetary exchange, or the absence there of....I cannot imagine NOT doing it.

I thank God that He knew exactly what I would need in life to honor and serve Him. He knows that about you too.....so never discount those "mistakes" you think you might have made.....He knew you were gonna make them....He allowed you to make them because He knew what you needed to find and fulfill your passion.

You, my friend, are God's Passion...He loves you so much....He is ALL about you, no matter what you do or do not do.....He Died for you years ago on a rugged cross....and He Lives for you today!

What is YOUR passion?

Blessings Ya'll!
~Scarlett