I Think I'll Try Defying Gravity (And no, this is not about me getting a new bra!)

Well, I did it. Today I woke up, got dressed, and walked onto the campus of FMU as a student......surreal to say the least! It was 30 years ago that I did, for all practical purposes, the exact same thing.

I remember the morning in 1980 like it was yesterday. I was wearing a soft, red plaid dress, with a little bow at the neck, and the cutest pair of espadrilles! (No wonder the KA's invited me to be a Little Sister! SO preppy!) I hurried to school, noticing that I was running really low on gas....but did not have time to stop!! Fleetwood Mac's album "Rumors" (yes, it was an eight track) blaring as loud as the speakers in my Pontiac Sunbird would allow! Excited, a bit nervous...but ready. Ready to start a new chapter: College! My first class was Intro to Theatre, in the old auditorium...the new fine arts building was not complete yet. Bob Simpson was my professor...he was a new staff member at FMU, and I remember thinking how we looked very close in age!

Other than one little mishap, which included me falling into a dumpster (a church daycare dumpster at that! Pewwwww!)on my way to class....(That will need to be a post all on its on, another time perhaps!)....the day went smoothly.

Time warp to 2010. Here I am this morning....wearing Uggs, a poet hat, skinny jeans, a long sweater and a scarf. (Not really KA material anymore :) ).....Rushing to my Mercedes Benz SUV, the soundtrack from WICKED blasting "Defying Gravity" as I make my way to the college. Running low on gas. (Somethings never change!) Excited, a bit nervous...but ready. Ready to start a new chapter: College! My first class was a Theatre 303 class, Stage Management. In the now old, but new 30 years ago, Fine Arts building. Professor Granath is my instructor...and ironically, I am pretty sure we are very close in age...he is not so new to the staff of FMU.

There are only 4 of us in this particular upper level theatre class....there were 5, but the Professor made quick mince meat with one particular student's non-theatrical brain, and suggested he exit stage R and go immediately to his advisers office in hope of getting a class more suitable. The other three students...are girls....ALL younger than my youngest child :/ A huge, but only momentary wave of panic washed over me....WHAT AM I DOING??? Have I lost my mind?

After all, (This is where I started trying to reason to myself)..."I have a perfectly wonderful degree in Nursing! I am a RN! I have 5 years of successful college credit under my belt!!" I commenced using my psyhciatric nursing knowledge on my self...."Breath deep, another time, now slowly let that breath out....repeat....relax....everyting is fine"....

And yes, I am a good nurse. Long story short...here is the deal...after nursing my Mom for seven dark years through End Stage Renal Disease...I can hardly stand to walk into the hospital anymore! Nursing was/is a field that I was successful and gifted in.....BUT....it is not, and never has been my PASSION. However, being the good "rule follower" and "go with the flow" girl....I took the sensible road 30 years ago...it paid well....it served others...it is a respectable and honored profession...nursing. I did not realize thirty years ago that passion trumps sensibility in the game of life.

There has never been an extended period in my youth or adult life that I have not been performing is some manner. Church musicals and dramas...singing at hundreds of weddings....Mark and I signed with a Christian Record Label...we wrote songs, recorded albums, performed and toured for years....community theatre...script writing....children's dramas...directing...etc....Always feeding that passion for performance. It has NEVER escaped me. The desire to learn more about it...to better my skills and knowledge of it....never goes away.

I realize most folks in my age group, my socioeconomic group, my peer group, would never have the desire to go back to school for something they know they will likely never profit monetarily from....but dang it, I DO have that desire!!!.....Oddly enough,the lyrics from that Wicked CD that was blaring this morning popped into my brain at the height of my doubt today....."Something has changed with in me, something is not the same. I'm through with playing by the rules of someone else's game. Too late for second guessing...to late to go back to sleep. It's time to trust MY instincts....close my eyes and leap! I think I'll try defying Gravity...I think I'll fly...defying gravity....and you can't bring me down!"

Today, I decided to take that leap :)

"So if you try to find me, look to the western sky....as someone told me lately, everyone deserves the chance to fly! And if I'm flying solo, at least I'm flying free! To those who ground me, take a message back from me....I think I'll try defying gravity, I'm flying high...defying gravity...and you can't pull me down!"

Today, my second chance to fly!

~Happy Soarin' Y'all!
Scarlett

Let it Snow, Let it Snow, Let it Snow!!!!

Today, Thursday January 7th, 2010, brings a rare treat for all of us here in South Carolina....we have a forecast for possible SNOW! Whoo Hoo!!! Every loaf of bread, every gallon of milk...will fly off the grocery store shelves today .....despite the fact that there is very little accumulation expected :)

We all just go bonkers over seeing it snow! (I know, all my friends in Alaska and Canada are rolling their eyes about now....) But is a rare...beautiful thing here!

Also rare.....is when God takes something you are doing.....and puts His own special twist to it!! I just love it when that happens. Today is one of those days that He is blessing me by playing with me a little bit!

You see, today is also the day that our Women's Ministry Team has had planned....for months now....to have an appreciation banquet for the Ladies in Ministry at our church....those that manage and serve or head up a ministry.....as well as the wives of our elders, pastors and male ministry staff. And guess what our theme is??? SNOWFLAKES!! No lie....when we were making these plans....we were wearing shorts and reeking of suntan lotion.....just being faithful to what he was leading us to do in our area of ministry!

What an AMAZING God we serve.....who is totally in control of everything....but still finds a way to thrill us and bless us with little details!

And in honor of the amazing women that serve in Minsitry at The Stone.....I wrote this poem to be the cover of a keepsake booklet that each honoree will be receiving at the banquet:

Priceless, Precious, and Appreciated

What's said of Snowflakes can also be

Said of Ladies in Ministry

Unique and Vibrant

Bold or Subdued

Each radiate such beautiful hues

One difference, though, that I can see

While Snowflakes fall for us to see

Ladies who serve, they rise above

And blanket us with His grace and love

Yet the presence of each

Anxiously anticipated

You are Priceless

Precious

And Appreciated

Thanks to all of you who serve selflessly.....each a beautiful snowflake from God's hand to our heart!

Let it snow, Y'all!

Scarlett

Happy New Year! Welcome 2010!

Happy New Year! Welcome 2010! I love new beginnings!

Another New Year, another decade....another chance to get it right! OK, maybe not right....because if there is one truth that life has taught me....it is that I will likely never get it ALL right. But I have also learned that even small improvements can make a world of difference! So I will earnestly shoot for perfection, but also gird myself with the idea that the result of working hard, searching deeply, and making an honest effort will be enough. Enough...Wow...it has taken me quite a few years to understand that one little thing....Enough. Satisfaction. Comfort. A quiet bliss inside, whispered by God into my ear....."How I have made you...Where you are right this moment...Who you are, the good, the bad and the in between...is Enough"....Whew! What a relief!

Now this is probably the most unusual "New Years Resolution" post you will read this year. Many...if not most folks, are making a list of what they want to do, changes they want/need to make...bad habits they plan to break, new habits they plan to implement, etc....and that is an awesome thing to do! I have typically done the same each and every time the first day of January comes around. There is nothing wrong with that! It is a good thing! BUT....for me, I wanna approach this year from a different perspective.

Instead of beating myself up about the things I need to change....I am gonna thank God for who I am this very moment. Celebrate the cellulite! Pat myself on the back for being active and exercising most every day! Thankfully recognize that all those close to me are in good, general health...and rejoice in the fact that God has put some pretty awesome and amazing people in my life! Sweet friends old and new....enough money in the bank that we can eat, stay warm, afford a few luxuries, and bless others from time to time. I can worship freely and love uninhibitedly! I have a husband who loves me as close to unconditionally as humanly possible, and children who are amazing! Oh, and a God who is bigger than any problem, issue, hang up , or sin I have. Actually, that is MORE than enough :) And so much more that I deserve.

So here's is to 2010! Another chance to get it as close to right as we can :)

May you find love, peace, and good health! And more than anything...may you walk closer to your Creator God. That is my only plan for 2010...step by step...as He daily reminds me, with a gentle whisper in my ear...."I love you so much, I sent my Son in your place....and for any and all things....THAT is enough!"

Happy 2010 Y'all!
~Scarlett

Thoughts of November

There's a richness that grows as seasons pass
Deep in my heart where memories last
Of autumn days with blustery winds
That whirl and cool at summers end

When creation green, now heat distressed
Slowly withers dry to take a rest
Leaves that slowly dance from limb to sand
Fulfilling their part of the Master's Plan

Reminds me anew that life too must change
That plans and thoughts oft prearranged
Are often tossed and crumpled dry
Upon the earth, left there to die

But like the limbs both stripped and bare
We must trust and wait under natures care
For the One who brings the bitter snow
Is wiser and stronger than Winters woe

For the lessons learned and memories made
Will warm us until the winter fades
When Springs beauty reborn won't be undone
And all Earth reawakens beneath the sun

But until then, we will take our rest
And recount the many ways we're blessed
As we bend and mold the winter through
At last, reshaped by our Creator, anew

~Scarlett Knight
November 25, 2009

Vegetable Soup for the Soul

It has been a soggy four days in South Carolina. Wet, chilly, windy, and grey. Not my favorite kind of weather. I am a Sunshine kinda girl. I am, however, the eternal optimist about things, so if there is a silver lining to this low lying, soil soaking kinda weather....it has to be Vegetable Soup.

Good 'ole, throw some meat in the pot, boil it up and dump every yummy veggie you can find in it kinda soup. The kind you make in the biggest pot you have, and you cook it all day long. That's the way my Momma did it...as did her Momma before her....and it is how I make it too. The ingredients are never quite the same, but somehow it always tastes yummy. Throw together some sweet corn bread, and you have a meal that will warm you to the core!

I was raised on made from scratch, yellow corn meal, cornbread. Mark was raised on Jiffy Mix. I had never had Jiffy prior to matrimony....but I tried it, and I liked it! Probably because it is more like cake than bread! Oh, but it's sweetness is the perfect culinary balance to the slightly acidic soup! I like to crumble my cornbread into my soup bowl. Mark, my hubby...he is a dipper. So I bake my cornbread in a deeper dish, so that when it bakes I can cut it into perfect thick squares of golden goodness :) Perfect for dipping! Yes, I love my man...and he loves my Jiffy squares.

One of the hardest days for me after my Mom got ill, was a day when I was really sick with a cold and wanted some Vegetable Soup. She always made it for us kids when we were sick....even after we grew up and got married and did not live under her roof anymore. Looking back, I think that was the first day that I really got honest with myself about the finality of her illness. Somehow I knew deep inside that I would never have HER Vegetable Soup again. I would never have HER, not ill, again. I do not really recall what the weather was like outside that day, but in my heart...it was one of the darkest days ever. Those of you who have lost a parent, or have elderly or ill parents know exactly what I am talking about. It is hard to explain...and it is more difficult to fully digest.

I don't really know what came over me that day, but as horrible as I felt, I got up, pulled out my big pot, threw in some meat...then through tears and 101 degree fever, I made my own pot of soup. It was a rite of passage. It was a line drawn in the sand between being the child and becoming the adult. It was the beginning of knowing that I had to let her go, and knowing there was nothing I could do to change it. The sweetest cornbread in the world could not cut the bitterness of that fact.

Oddly enough, after that one particular episode of melancholy meal making....I felt so much better. Not only physically, but mentally and spiritually as well. I can make Vegetable Soup now, without tears and with fond thoughts of Momma and the way she loved and cared for us. And those sweet memories, definitely warm me to the core.

Um, Um, Good!
~Scarlett

Something WICKED This Way Comes...and it Changed Me Forever, For Good

I have felt misunderstood my whole life. There....I said it! (Well, technically, I typed it, but in blogland that counts as the same!) Now before you start thinking this is gonna be a "Poor Little, Pity Me Post"...let me say...it is NOT. I don't play the victim well...unless of course, she is a character on stage! Those who know me on a more personal level can testify to the fact that I will "bust a gut" before I will ask for help or admit defeat! I cannot understand the whole "Damsel in Distress" senario? HELLO!!!!I HATE to look weak. It is likely a personality flaw...I know....but I am just being truthful!!

I am pretty much an open book. I love all people, and actually like most of them as well :) If I say something, I keep my word. If I do not like something, I will typically let you know in a private, kind way. It is just the way I operate. And despite my strong Southern Bell persona...I defy one presumed characteristic of that personality type.....Passive Manipulation. Where as many people I know tell you what you want to hear to get the reactions they want....I just don't play well using that set of unhealthy social rules!

Because of that...most folks, (in trying to figure out what I must really mean or really want)...totally do not get me....thus the saga of my life long experience of being misunderstood.

I suffered the emotional misfitting of this senario....without a true title or name or explination of it....until May 29, 2007. My wonderful husband took me to New York City for our 25th wedding anniversary, and had purchased front row, center tickets for "Wicked, the musical". Now, I realize that lots of folks love this Broadway show....but the experience was much more than theatrical enrichment to me. It was food to my soul. It defined feelings I had felt all my life that I had never been able to express adequately. The stuggles that Elphaba had, I could totally relate to....the way every deed she did was misunderstood....was familiar territory to me....I had walked those same roads of discontent and disconnection! For the first time, I got what the issue was with me...being missunderstood.....But the really cool part of this story is that along with the revelation of that truth, I also realized that it is OK. I'm OK.

Thankfully, with that new revelation/understanding, came the realization that I am only responsible for my own actions, my own feelings, and my own reactions. NOT for what other people think I mean...or what they presume I mean or want. As a counselor once told me....We each have our row to hoe (in regards to what we say, do or feel)....other folks are given their very own row....SO STAY ON YOUR OWN ROW!

I was reminded of this whole "Wicked Revelation" today as I booked tickets for the show again. I simply cannot go to NYC and not see it. It would be like not visiting family if I was coming home from being out of town. Elphaba is my "soul sister"....judged for her looks, her actions, her intentions, the backfireing of good deeds, etc.....she and I are one. And like Elphaba, and the common stuggles we share....as we experience life...laced with a little bit of grace....the love a good man...and the discovery of an inner strength (which for me is my relationship with My Heavenly Father)...I have learned to fly....and I have been changed, for good.

I hope in sharing this, that maybe somebody else out there that feels misunderstood most of the time....will not feel so alone. To quote Elphaba..."As someone told me lately, EVERYONE deserves a chance to fly"!

May you each glide gently on the wings of the ONE who intrically knitted you in your Mother's womb, who wired every little network of neurons that trigger your feelings, actions, and emotions...both good and not so good....With Him, you will never be misundertood.

Happy Flyin' Y'all!
~Miss Scarlett

Miss Melanie, Reach For The Smellin' Salts! Miss Scarlett Is Back!

Howdy Everybody!

Did y'all miss me? Dang, I have been busier than the Sunbeam Mixer in Paula Deen's Kitchen! I think my last post was.....GULP.....last January! Where does time go?

I guess because I have been so incredibly busy writing other stuff, that I did not even realize I had neglected my blog posts for so long. So, let me start with a genuine, sweet, southern apology! I am sorry Y'all....and I will try to do better!

I have really missed you all....and thought about posting many, many times....I just do not seem to have enough minutes in the day....or the night....it is about 1:30 am as I write this....so take that little tid bit of information as an indication of how bizarre and erratic my schedule has been!

So...how best to catch up? How about a cut and dry recap:

1) LOTS of script writing, directing, and acting going on :) Played one of the Pigeon Sisters in "The Odd Couple" in January, Directing duties for "Peter Pan" in May, Wrote, directed and acted in "Camp Rock @ The Stone" in August, Crewed "The Producers" in September, and currently directing "The Fantasticks" (to open Jan. 15, 2010)! Whew! And that is just stage stuff!

2) Some songwriting projects going on....nothing in the studio yet...mainly ideas, chords and melody lines....but definitely progress! I opened for my dear Friend, Mary Krulikowski, an amazing, Christian Comedienne, on a Royal Caribbean Cruise in September. (Check out her website: www.floridasfunnylady.com ) The event was called "Crusin' with the Girls"...there are already plans for a "Cruisn' with the Girls II" as well as preliminary plans for a "Flyin' with the Girls, NYC" in the works! Check it out!

3) Mark, my wonderful hubby had back surgery: A discetomy, laminectomy, 4 screws, 2 plates, fusion with BMP, with bilateral nerve releases at L5/S1 in March. A HUGE back surgery...he tried all conservative measures for over a year....and finally opted for surgery as it was starting to interfere with most every aspect of his life!! He is such a trooper...doing better everyday...BUT still walking an 18 month road of recovery (that is average for the procedure)...until he should be pain free!

4) Kids: Melody and Rodney will celebrate their 3rd anniversary in a few weeks! They are both happy and wonderful...getting closer to finishing at the university....No grandkids yet...just one fat, adorable grandpuppy named Noodle :) Melody has great, almost perfect, grades, is working in the writing center, is a member of the university school paper, volunteering at FLT, reconnecting with friends and enjoying her time at FMU. Rodney got a new boat for his birthday and has become the master angler of the family!! Josh...well he is doing great as well....wonderful grades...inducted into the leadership/honor fraternity at FMU, also tutoring in the writing center, writing for the school paper, as well as doing shows at FLT and FMU...Not to mention a new lady in his life...the beautiful Kimi (aka Peter Pan)...we love her to pieces!!!

5)Oh, and as of this morning, I have lost 80 pounds :) Walking 5 miles a day as part of Marks surgery rehab has been an incredible catalyst in getting my weight back on track! I am still not as skinny as I have been, but I am where my doctor feels I am healthy and happy, and (per my hubby) hot :) And while it is nice to fit back into some clothes that I thought I would never fit into again, the most rewarding thing for me is that I know I am healthier!

6) Spiritually, God has been holding me close, and patiently waiting on me as I ramble, rush, and regroup. I feel even more called to serve Him by using the Creative Worship tools He has placed in my hands, than ever before! SO many cool opportunities He is providing....How awesome to have multiple options....but how scary to know that it is my responsibility to choose wisely :/

There is more...but why go on...as you can see, I have not been simply ignoring you while I sat on my front porch eating bon bons and drinking sweet tea! Nope....more like I have been walking my bahunkus off (literally), eating lots of salads and drinking more than my fair share of diet Pepsi! That, plus all the other "stuff"!

So, for you dear faithful ones who have waited on me as I have rambled, rushed, and regrouped....I say thank you from the bottom of my pea pickin' heart! I promise to do better....how does once a week sound?

In the mean time...it is after 2am...and I have a very sexy baritone who is patiently waiting on me to hit the jacuzzi with him....think I will take him up on the offer!

Thanks for stopping by! Y'all come back now, ya hear?

Still Frankly,
Miss Scarlett