Friday, September 26, 2008

Growing Vines...and Teenagers

The Fall Season has arrived, but all I have seen falling here in SC is endless raindrops! Seriously, since Hurricane Hannah passed through a few weeks ago, we have not had a chance to dry out. And while I am thankful that we are not in a drought, I must also confess that I am pretty sick of the rain!

I love the sun and the outdoors...and when we built our house a few years back, we made sure we picked a house plan with the perfect veranda on the back, so that I could sit out and enjoy the lake and the animals all year round....it is my little paradise here on Earth! Each year we try to do or add something to the back yard. Last summer we added comfy outdoor furniture, so that we could all sit out there as a family. This year we enhanced the landscaping by adding an additional stone patio (thanks to my talented son in law, Rodney!!) and also added 1003 (yes, we counted them)...landscape stones that outline our flower beds. It was a family project and everyone helped...and it turned out really beautiful!

The largest flower bed we added runs the entire length of the backyard. We decided to plant 14 confederate jasmine plants (one on each section of fence)...we just love the fact that they are evergreen and keep that sweet smelling little blossom most of the year here due to our mild climate....and thought they would be so beautiful climbing in and out of the slats of the fence.

By this phase of "Project Backyard 2008", the kids were pretty much done :)....so, Mark and I took this endeavor on all by ourselves. We picked out the plants, dug the holes, added the fertilizer, planted each one...carefully...keeping their existing root system in tact....hooked up the sprinkler system to each plant....and finally, covered the bed with straw. We left the rest to the Lord, and stepped back and watched them grow and bloom all summer long!

The summer of 2008 seemed to fly by....it was a summer of challenges....it was a whirlwind of things to do, places to see (Alaska was INCREDIBLE)...and problems to solve.....but more than anything, I do believe it was a summer of growth...personal, emotional, and spiritual growth....for every member of our family.

This afternoon, after the rain FINALLY slacked off, Mark and I took our puppies out in the backyard...just to let them run and play....they have been cramped up in the house for what seems like days! While we were out there, Mark commented on the confederate jasmines that we planted on the fence. He said he had hoped they would have grown more, and covered more of the fence. We sat there and discussed the plants...discussing what we could have possibly done differently....but came to the conclusion that we did all we knew how to do, and would just have to be patient...hoping they would cover the fence in their own sweet time!

Mark headed back inside, and I walked back over to the flower bed....and I noticed something....there were numerous long vines of the confederate jasmines that were growing into the hedge on the other side of the fence. This sparked my curiosity...so, I started investigating.....I unraveled, pulled, dug and twisted the vines that had grown into the hedge...it took me a while but I eventually "untangled" numerous vines, from all 14 plants....some of the vines were close to twenty feet long!! I took the vines that I had untangled from the hedge, and gently wrapped and guided them in and out of the fence posts....they were so long that we now have confederate jasmine, uninterrupted....from one end of the fence to the other! I quickly, and proudly called Mark back into the yard to show him...."See, they were growing like mad, all along, we just could not see them because they got caught up the the massive hedge!!" We were so proud of our vines!

Mark went back inside, and I just stood there...looking at the newly rearranged vines...and it occurred to me, that growing these vines seemed an awful lot like parenting our teenagers!! Listen closely....Just like Mark and I planted those vines...we have worked hard from day one to parent together, did everything possible to plant our kids in God's word, we made sure that we fed and watered them, we did everything we knew to do...and they still did not grow in the exact direction we planned for them to grow!! As they were older teens, we often got frustrated, and yes, sometimes, a little scared....not knowing what exactly to do, but trusting GOD to do what only He could do! (Just to set the record straight...my kids are not bad kids...they are great kids...they are just normal kids!)

And there was a season (with both our kids) where we saw little, if any, spiritual growth. However....just because we did not see it....did not mean it was not there...it did not mean that God was not growing them.....their vines were just getting caught up the the "Massive Hedge" that we call the world!

And with God's help, this past summer especially, we have seen those long vines that were tangled up in the vastness of the world, become unraveled....and slowly, but surely, God is wrapping them and guiding them into the light....where they can be seen more clearly and grow more beautifully. We are so proud of our kids!

So how's it "growing" with you? I know I've got a few "wild growing vines" of my own that could probably benefit from some gentle redirecting....if not they could easily get out of control and take root onto a hedge where they have no business growing!!!

I think I will use God's Word as my fence post....His holy spirit to gently shape and entwine me.....and of course...we know Jesus is "The Light of the World".... and all healthy vines need sonlight :)

Happy Gardening, Y'all!

Monday, September 22, 2008

The Problem With Pedestals

We all have personal heros in our lives. People who have left an indelible mark on our souls based on the outstanding way that they live their lives. They are people who we tend to look up to, want to be like, and put our faith and trust in daily. Unfortunately, and quite often, without realizing it....we place them up on pedestals. I am not implying, in anyway, that we worship them like God....but rather that we create a standard for them, in our minds, and believe that they should always live up to that expectation. Being the "people person" that I am, I have accrued many personal heros in my lifetime!

There are, of course, those that are my "Spiritual Giants"....they know the Word of God backwards and forwards, and they apply it in their lives everyday. They are the people who I want praying for me, teaching me and who I know I can go to if I have some huge spiritual conflict or question. They are most often deeply anchored and respected in our churches and our communities. Some are quite famous, but some are gentle, soft spoken giants who have never written a book or made a bible study video.

Some of my heros are "Relationship Giants"...you know the ones that can maintain great marital, parental and social relationships with what seems like little effort or stress....they remember to send Birthday cards out on time, they work out a way to be at all the soccer games of every child, they know just the right thing to say or do, they exercise, eat right, and love Jesus. Their mate loves them dearly, their kids adore them, and everyone wants to be their friend. They are great communicators and the love they offer is genuine, not offered based on self gain.

I also have a few heros that I can best categorize as " Fighter Giants"....that's right....they never give up, no matter how poor the odds. These giants have gone though life circumstances that we all pray never come our way....and beat the odds! They have battled cancer and survived it, they have experienced infidelity in their marriage and fought hard to save it, they have unexpectedly loss a child and have battled their deepest hurts and have picked up the pieces and moved forward.

These are just a few of the many folks, that I consider my heros, who impact my daily walk without ever knowing it. They probably have no clue that they are my heros. I am not sure why I do not tell them that they are....I think it is the whole "putting someone up on a pedestal" idea. The problem I have with pedestals is that no matter how awesome and deserving the person on them has become, there is only one direction to go from the top of that pedestal....and that is down.....and due to our humanness....falling off is not only possible, but probable.

We have all seen beloved pastors, political leaders, community leaders, doctors, entertainers, and countless others that often get placed up on a pedestal, take a nasty plunge. There is great pressure at the top.....and I think Satan likes to play there. He knows he can do much harm, not only to the person who stumbles off the pedestal, but also to the many who placed them up there in the first place! This premise is exponentially worse if the person is a known believer and follower of God. The world derives great pleasure, for whatever warped reason, pointing out and calling someone a hypocrite.

I have felt the disappointment of having someone that I placed on a pedestal fall off. I have also felt the sting of being the one on the pedestal that takes the inevitable dive....It hurts on both ends.

Therefore, I opt to keep my spiritual, relational, and fighter giants off the pedestal. That doesn't mean that I do not look up to them...not at all....it just means that I keep them in the trenches with me. Knowing that if I fall, they will pick me up, and if they fall, they do not have such a long trip down! And where ever they land, I will be prepared to offer them grace, love and forgiveness....just like Jesus does for me everyday.

And guess what.....I know some of "my giants" read my blog.....have fun figuring out who you are!!

By the way, I do have one person on my pedestal....his name is Jesus, and He will never fall.

Blessings Y'all!

Saturday, September 13, 2008

Tips and Confessions of a Funeral Singer

Hey Y'all! A few post back I shared with you about my obsessive need to check obituaries....If this is your first visit to my blog PLEASE don't automatically hit the back key and exit! While I will be the first to express that I am rather quirky....I will also stand behind the premise that I am alot of fun amidst the quirk! So stay with me here......Having said that, today I will be talking, in part, about funerals.

When you are an active soloist in any church body, chances are you will be asked to sing at a funeral...or two...or possibly many more.....If I had to guess, Mark and/or I have sung at more than most folks.....I would guess 50 or more. And let me just say right here....It is a great honor to be asked. To be included by the family to celebrate the life and homegoing of a loved one is truly such an honor and a blessing.....It is also one of the hardest parts of ministry.....especially if you are "a crier" at funerals....and I am.

Most of the time, I hold it together pretty well......and luckily, the majority of funeral service orders have the soloist singing first...at the beginning, before the Pastor has eulogized or the family member has read a poem or letter (that one ALWAYS get me going)...before having to sit there and watch the family struggle and mourn. In case you have never thought about it, the soloist usually is placed in a position where the family can see and hear the songs being sung....which means the soloist also has a front row seat to see every face, every tear, every emotional struggle of every member of the family....so it is kind of heart wrenching to say the least. If you know the family or the deceased personally, that makes it even more difficult.

Despite the difficulty, I still feel so blessed to have been given the opportunity! I have learned so much about the people and the families who entrusted me to be a part of the funerals...and believe it or not, sometimes, I have learned alot about myself....many of the things I have learned are techniques that will keep me from crying, so that I can still do what they have asked me to do for them (sing)!


Things I have learned that help me stay composed at funerals:
(AKA: Tips for Blubbering Funeral Singers)


1. If I am about to "bust a blubber fit", I can start counting the number of flowers in each arrangement, and if that does not work, I start doing math equations in my head....something like...17 mums in arrangement one, 12 roses in arrangement two.....add them, divide them, do a ratio of arrangements based on the left to right side of of the casket....usually gets my mind in analytical mode vs. emotional mode....

2. I can look over the heads of the family members and it still looks like I am singing to them....

3. Every family group has a "kooky cousin or aunt", you can spot them by their attire, so that takes my mind to a different place if needed.

4. All I have to do is think about not being able to get up and go to the ladies room, ....and then I feel like I really need to go.....Yes, it is somewhat self torture....but an overactive bladder has saved me from having overactive tear ducts if all other attempts to "keep it together" have failed. As a precautionary prep, I gird myself with protection by "Poise", as I always hydrate well before singing at a funeral.


Believe it or not....the most valuable thing I have ever learned at a funeral was taught to me at a funeral I was not singing for.....Mark and I were in the congregation. One of our dear friends, who also works in our company, lost his Mom somewhat unexpectedly. Mark and I traveled to Virgina, his family's home state, to show our support and love and to extend our sympathies to him and his family.

It was Christmas time, and the small community church was decorated beautifully in celebration of Christ's birth. I was sitting there thinking how difficult it must be to bury a loved one at Christmas time, when I heard the doors open. We stood as the family came in....His Dad, who was also very ill and in the last stages of his fight against cancer was in a wheel chair and had to be pushed to the first row, by a family member. It was very emotional.

It was the sweetest funeral I have ever attended. I bawled like a baby....and I had never met or laid eyes on Mrs. Burgess! The funeral was a great tribute to a life spent as a servant to the Lord.....it was praise and honor and worship! To see the very ill Dad lifting his hands in praise to his Creator during the worship songs, as he sat there in his wheelchair, was almost more than I could handle.....it was GENUINE WORSHIP....you could see it...you could feel it....it was as close to the throne of God as I had ever been...it was that special.

So what did I learn, you ask? I think Mark Batterson said it best in chapter four of "In a Pit with a Lion on a Snowy Day". (Which is a MUST read for everyone.) He says, "Worship is forgetting about what's wrong with you, and remembering what's right with God"! .....Read that again.....isn't that awesome!

Worship should be continual, it should not be based on what we feel, where we are, or what circumstances we find ourselves amid. Paul and Silas worshipped in jail. Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed–nego, worshipped in a fiery furnace. And Mr. Burgess worshipped in a wheelchair, knowing that the love of his life was no longer here on earth, and that his days, too, were limited due to his disease.

I wish I could say I was able to worship like that all the time......but I am being honest here, and I feel like most of you can relate....that sometimes life just takes our focus off the big picture, and we get fixated on what is wrong with today. Listen closely my friend....we are missing out when we do that!!

Thanks to a funeral, I have experienced Genuine Worship in it's rawest form...and I crave it....I cannot get the taste of it out of my mouth.....

May worship always be at the tip of our tongues! Keeping our eyes and hearts on the big picture. No counting flowers or scoping out kooky family members.....And if I blubber like an idiot, so be it.....but I do hope, however, I can control the overactive bladder.

Wishing Genuine Worship for us all Y'all!

Monday, September 8, 2008

Crossing Wires in the Windy City

The first time I ever visited Chicago was in the Spring of 1995. Our artist relations manager flew me out there for some shopping....she wanted to find some cute duds for me for the upcoming album cover, and also to check out a few carousels.....we were thinking we might want to do the actual cover shoot on a merry-go-round, and there was one in particular in the Windy City that she wanted us to check out. Sounded fun to me!

So we spent several days working, and also found some time for sightseeing and other fun touristy stuff. The night before I was to head back home, we hopped on the El (a cross between a subway and a monorail) and headed downtown Chicago for one last night. Somehow, I still do not know if we got on the wrong train or if we were just yapping and missed our stop....(probably the latter)....but we ended up lost....the train stopped, everybody was off...but us. Upon stopping, there came an announcement via the speakers that this was the "end of the line, please exit". HELLO???

We looked out the window, and below us we could see these groups of people wearing matching colors with kerchiefs tied on their arms, heads, etc....I thought they must have been having a theme party.....or a bond fire....there were trash cans full of flames....maybe a weenie roast???... I had never seen a gang before....

"Those are gangs", my friend nonchalantly said.....and I quickly realized she was not talking about a gang that belonged to "Spanky"!! She just sat there looking out the window, ....She was from the west coast....I was from the Pee Dee.

Oh, and did I mention , we had no cell phone reception either.


Begin Southern Hissy Fit.


The Steel Magnolia within, hopped right up, and headed for the door that fed into the car in front of us....upon entering the next car, I saw a uniformed train worker....Momma always said if you get lost, find a man in uniform, right??


"What ARE you doing?" my friend, who was reluctantly following behind me asked. I told her I was going to find somebody that could take my fanny home.....or at least to the hotel...... Somebody who had a phone or walkie talkie or maybe a gun.....

The train worker was actually a clean up guy....no gun...but he did have a two way radio...and so he let the engineer (or whatever you call the man who drives the El) know he had two lost ladies....and he added..."One of them is "Southern"". (Note to self, the Southern Drawl is amplified during a Southern Hissy Fit.) Not really sure if he found that as a threat or if it was a derogatory tag he placed upon me, either way....it got the attention of the person who could drive the stinky tin box I was trapped in far and away from "gangland"! Within a few minutes, we were on our way.

Why is it that two women, both educated equally, both believers, working in the same industry, in the same situation would react in two totally different ways? She sat, I stood up.....I wonder? It is probable, to suppose that the clean up man would have made his way to our car next, discovered us and made the call to the train driver...but at the moment I stood up to take action, neither of us knew there was even someone in the other car...so neither reaction was based on knowing there was help with in hearing distance. Our goal was the same, our methods quite different.

Bottom line....Gods word says " I knitted you in your Mother's Womb"....So, obviously He wires us each so differently for His purpose! Can you imagine the intricacy of all that wiring!! I know I personally, must be one huge, knotted bundle, mess of wires :) He must have had a "Heavenly Red Bull" the morning he wired me up! But I am sure glad He did.

Psalm 139:14 says "I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made."

So I praise Him, right now for every wire He hooked up in me. Even the one I hate that makes me a little "pushy" sometimes! Knowing that He who made me and put in the initial wiring, is the best person to do any "re-wiring" needed, should I blow a circuit.

What ever your circuitry.....always remember He drew the electrical blue print precisely how He wanted you to be.

If you must blow a fuse....blow it for Jesus :)

Electrifying Blessings Y'all!
~Scarlett

Friday, September 5, 2008

He's the Weatherman.....

So, here I sit....with my computer in my lap, my dogs snuggled close beside me, a very scrumptious smelling pot of Lucky Spaghetti #8 (see earlier post) on the stove, and the rain coming down. Tropical storm Hanna twirling and hurling her outer bands of rain in our direction. Like most in our area, I have kept the television on and the Internet up, constantly checking her status. So much media coverage...gotta love technology!!

Having made the obligatory journey to the grocery store and gas station earlier in the day, (amidst hoards of others doing the same), I had most of this afternoon to simply take it easy and wait. Would she gain strength and become a category 1 Hurricane? Would she make land fall near our condo at Litchfield? And what about Hurricane Ike..Yikes!! Taking my "Worry Wart" tendencies into consideration, I am doing pretty well... Maybe because I not only listened to Pastor Bill's sermon this past Wednesday night, but maybe I am actually applying it!! God is in control...of even the most minute detail....so I am sure a weather event the size of Hanna garners His attention :)

I often find myself, lately, quoting a line from one of my favorite Keith Green Songs....."....I'll just keep doing my best, pray that its blessed, and He'll take care of the rest....yes, the Lord said He'll take care of the rest....." So, today...I did my best....I started my day off with prayer and a quiet time with the Lord....I accessed the situation of the day before me, did my part by preparing my home and belongings and family to do what I could to keep us safe....I did my best......and now, I am trusting Him to take care of the rest.....

Interestingly enough, as the chorus of the song continues to fade, Keith sings...." Yeah, He'll take care of the rest, He'll see you through it....(and he throws in this cute little echo....)....He's the weather man....".....I'm thinking the Lord might have had Keith do that just for me :).....After all He is the Lord of even the most minute detail!!

I praise Him in the storm.....even when her name is Hanna, or Ike , or Josephine, or........


Showers of Blessings, Ya'll!
~Scarlett

Our 25th Wedding Anniversay in NYC

Tuesday Morning Mammo Photo

Tuesday Morning Mammo Photo
Are you sure that is my boobie pic hanging up on that wall???

How Bountiful Are Your Gifts, Oh Lord!

Re-Honeymooners

Re-Honeymooners
On the beach at Litchfield